[Ailist] Positive Core of America: responsibility - Stories inside Words

[Mike Sands]

I wrote this to Madelyne Blair - and then thought  - no, this is bigger than that  - it is for the list - it is creating together.  It refers to an e mail  Madelyne wrote to the list on Tuesday, March 10, 2009 3:24 PM - it is repeated below.

Madelyne

As you suggested I went to the Pelerei website and Renewable Energy.  I was hoping to find  a sort of "step by step guide to Stories Inside Words - here's how to do it".  After I read it  - it was inspirational and helpful and I didn't see exactly what I was shopping for  - and then I went back to your yesterday e mail - and found all I needed right there - in about 10 words.

Basicallly it says to say--"Hello y'all -- please select one word from  - your mission statement - the mission statement of a company you know about (eg Nike ) - the name Appreciative Inquiry  - (or somethign else).  Tell me  - or tell your partner  - a story that comes to mind when you think of that word.

That's it - well it took me 44 words.

In your e mail you wondered about whether there would be new material  - of course there will be - every time "the same story is told the telling is a new story" - with new tentacles to other stories -  the Barbershop Mirrors live. -  Stories Compound the  Rates of Return, Listening says Love.. 

You also said, " I had to rely on my belief that stories inside words would enliven in any event" - that speaks of courage to me, and exploration - I loved it.

And I have just read your e mail again - the richness inside it - the themes, the variations on themes - the resonances for me with my stories of AI and I  - of resonaces of where this can lead - Incroyable.

Mike



Here is the original e mail from Madelyne


As I read through what Mary Alice wrote, I had to share with you a  
story that I gave at a January AI event in Washington, DC.

Living Appreciatively

At the very first meeting of this group that Deb started, she asked if  
I would do something on story. I decided to do something from my work  
with Stories inside Words. I told of the project that I am working on  
to gather stories from peacemakers and the opening set of stories from  
three ambassadors who told stories inspired by words to the preamble  
to the Charter of the UN. We played a bit with how words become more  
alive when stories are told that came from their inspiration. Then I  
asked the group to tell stories inspired by either the word enquiry or  
appreciation.

As I listened to the stories, I wondered where this one was going.  
Could people be so used to the words appreciative inquiry that they  
would not be able to find something new in themselves? Would all of  
their stories be of how they used AI? Would the words remain the same  
to me even after hearing all the stories? I just didn’t know what  
would happen.

Every other time I have used the Stories inside Words exercise, the  
participants were excited about the words. They are usually words from  
mission statements or vision statements. I usually begin with asking  
them to tell stories inspired by words from mission statements of  
famous corporations like Niki or Mary Kay or Lego. They have fun with  
the words, and they see the words come alive in new ways. So, by the  
time they began to tell stories from their own mission statement, they  
are having fun, and they are practiced in finding the stories. But  
with the AI group, we wouldn’t have time to do this extra step. I had  
to rely on my belief that stories inside words would enliven in any  
event.

I began to listen to the stories about appreciation or enquiry. The  
stories were mixed together. As they told their stories, I began to  
jot down points in their stories. One by one, the stories began to  
reveal things about the speakers. Perhaps the story was about a family  
member who had a habit of asking questions about everything. Perhaps  
the story was about something earlier in their career when someone  
gave them a real break that set them on the right track. Just as we  
find in AI work, the response to questions or the telling of the story  
‘of the time when’ are revealing about a lot of things. But was there  
some kernel of something new here? I recognized my own dreariness with  
the words appreciative inquiry. I had been using that phrase for  
almost 10 years. I had written about them. I had worked through them.  
I had taught about them. Would there be something new for me?

I didn’t see it at first. Perhaps because time was running out (I did  
this in an amazingly short period of time.) and so my thinking cap  
never got put on right and no new thoughts were coming to me. But the  
group was happier and happier about what they were seeing in the  
stories. They certainly got the point. They could see that stories  
enlivened words. But what about me?

The next day, I began to write up the notes from the session. I typed  
each phrase, word, and note that I had made. Then as I got toward the  
end of the list, I felt that tingle of excitement start deep inside.  
Yes, there was something new there. Word after word just kept adding  
to the excitement that was growing in me. And suddenly, there it was.  
The stories about appreciation were about compassion – every story had  
some aspect in it. The stories about enquiry were about the  
interaction between two people who were engaged with each other in  
some form of conversation. That was it – compassionate engagement.

Compassionate engagement. I had it. This was new to me. Suddenly, AI  
became something entirely revitalized. We engage compassionately with  
others in compassionate engagement. I have never felt the same about  
AI since then.

Now, the new words allowed me to broaden my view of, my use of this  
philosophy. I could design retreats, surveys, or interview protocols;  
conduct conversations, briefings, or discussions; teach, coach, or  
advise with my full attention on the others in the room (engagement)  
and with good intentions toward the other (a compassionate heart).

These two new words were now fresh and alive to me. They also became  
measures of my intended actions and actual actions. Easy and simple.  
Be there for the other person with a desire to be helpful and affirming.

I recently conducted some interviews for a book I am writing. The  
interviews were about how the persons perceived me. Here is one of the  
statements I recorded: “You always bring a strong desire to understand  
fully, to assure that the framework is clear, yet you give comfort to  
others while you do it.”

Compassionate engagement has become my guide post.

M. Blair, January 2009


Madelyn Blair, Ph.D.
Pelerei, Inc.
Turning Vision into Reality
www.pelerei.com
301-371-7100
301-371-7957 (fax)
301-471-8721 (mobile)
Skype ID: madelynblair