[Ailist] Learning to Talk (and Listen)

[Madelyn Blair]

Mike,

I always read your posts to the Listserve if only to see what you are  
up to. :-)

I'm not sure I have an alternative title (although I love Winning  
Words...), I would like to offer a quotation from Anne Morrow  
Lindbergh that I used in a speech in 2007 on the topic of Conversation.

“It is not restful, it is not possible to talk wholeheartedly to more  
than one person at a time. You can’t really talk with a person unless  
you surrender to them, for the moment (all other talk is futile). You  
can’t surrender to more than one person a moment.”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Bring Me a Unicorn (1971)

It was so powerful. Surrender? Surrender!? In the end, it became one  
of the most effective quotations to get across the power of real  
conversation. You can find the entire presentation (called Not a Still  
Life) on my web site under Papers & Presentations in the "Immediate  
Resources" section. You'll have to scroll down a bit to find it.

Good luck.

Madelyn


Madelyn Blair, Ph.D.
Pelerei, Inc.
Turning Vision into Reality
www.pelerei.com
301-371-7100
301-371-7957 (fax)
301-471-8721 (mobile)
Skype ID: madelynblair


On Jun 17, 2009, at 9:55 PM, Mike Sands wrote:

> Oh no - not Mike again - asking about talking
>
> In 1923 Rudyard Kipling  - talking to the Royal College of Surgeons  
> said that words are the most powerful drug used by mankind.  I  
> suspect he was talking about the effect words can have when spoken   
> by a Churchill, a Roosevelt, or written by a Shakespeare or a  
> Whitman.  Well those words are powerful, but what about your own  
> words when spoken in honesty and passion? Have you ever "wound  
> yourself up" by an idea?  Have you ever helped a friend by listening?
>
> One of the kindest,  most helpful, most encouraging things  one  
> human can do for another is to listen to him or her speak as she  
> tries to light her own way - not to dusty death, but to sparkling  
> life.  You are doing that for me right at this moment.
>
> So, here's my question, I am giving a two night workshop in a public  
> library in Vancouver Canada in September.  The subject of the  
> workshop is how one person can Ask, Attend, Admire, And Ask Again so  
> that her friend will feel safe, wise, capable, human, special,  
> courageous, interesting, funny, brilliant.   The idea is compelling  
> and important, I need a name that will be compelling.  I need a name  
> that will be exciting - even "sexy".
>
> Here are some names I have tried out,  Winning Words - How to Use  
> Conversation and Stories to Ignite Lives: Conversations for Life,  
> Delicious Words - How Conversations Can Excite Lives,
>
> Have any of you ever hosted a conversation in such a way that your  
> partners feeling state just lifted in the moment.  Has anyone done  
> that for you; who in your life made you feel capable, special, who  
> did you love to be with because of how they made you feel.  Wouldn't  
> it be wonderful to research and define just what it was they did for  
> you and teach it to others.  Teach it to people who need a boost in  
> their lives, who are struggling with a problem and could use a boost  
> of inspiration. The words endorphin and oxytocin spring to mind.   
> Help people learn that by being such a agent for another is a  
> fabulous way to add higher purpose.
>
> What would you call your course so you could help this hungry world  
> (and me).
>
> Mike
>
> PS I would love to see your stories about conversations that you  
> have had that made some moments magnficent.
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