[Ailist] a i and a struggling marriage: suggestions please

[Cheri Torres]

Nick,
Interesting that you say it only takes one person to make a relationship
work.  How do you figure this?

Cheri

On Mon, Jan 19, 2009 at 6:10 AM, Nick Heap <nick at nickheap.co.uk> wrote:

> Jackie Kelm has a set of appreciative questions for couples. The list is
> here http://www.nickheap.co.uk/articles.asp?art_id=282 I can't find the
> original reference. These are all positive questions so they should be
> relatively easy to explore, provided both people want things to improve.You
> start off talking about how you first met and only at the 10th question
> start thinking about small actions that could make things better.
>
> There are also a whole series of simple and positive exercises on the
> Marriage Enrichment
> http://www.bettermarriages.org/Learn/Exercises/tabid/67/Default.aspxsite
> that might be helpful too.
>
> It is disconcerting, but probably true, that it only takes one person to
> get
> a relationship to work, so if either of the people really wants to make it
> work, that person could decide to do what ever it takes. This will require
> courage, determination, patience and flexibility and a good friend to talk
> to whan it gets tough.
>
> The questions and exercises are even more fun and rewarding if you are in a
> good relationship that you would like to make even better. It's very nice
> to
> spend an hour or two focusing on what works and how to make it better. One
> of the ME exercises was to sit in a corner and hold hands and tell your
> partner all the things you like about her or him for ten minutes while the
> partner just listens, then you swap over. Magic!
>
> Best wishes,
>
> Nick
>
> www.nickheap.co.uk
>
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-- 
Cheri B. Torres, Ph.D.
Ed Psych and Collaborative Learning
Asheville, NC
828-225-5088