[Ailist] a i and a struggling marriage: suggestions please

[Mike Sands]

Nancy wrote, in part, "However, I must confess, I tried using an 
appreciative approach with my ex-husband but I think there were too many 
external reasons why we couldn't make it work."

So I say - I have not found (nor have I looked very hard) for a way to bring 
"The Knowledge" into direct use at home - and yet it is a part of me - I 
react with more patience, have more belief" that I will "get over" whatever 
the stress is of the moment - have more tools for self managment, and more 
friends - and friendships that are more useful (now there's a word)

I have gone from having a slate floor to a resilient - I bounce better, 
higher, longer, more virtuosically (most of the time)

Mike

And here's a late thought - "being A" causes me to raise my expectations - 
and that itself can be glorious - and challenging.
Its neat to open the door of hope - as long as I am prepared to enjoy the 
view and not expect it to deliver a new BMW ) and I do hope it does)





----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Nancy Stetson" <nancy at sonic.net>
To: <ailist at lists.business.utah.edu>; <EP_FRANC at YAHOO.COM>
Sent: Saturday, January 17, 2009 10:10 AM
Subject: Re: [Ailist] a i and a struggling marriage: suggestions please


> >Francis,
>
> For whatever it's worth, if your friends could learn to refocus more on 
> what they appreciate about each other and the relationship, rather than on 
> what's wrong, they might rediscover the reasons they love each other.
>
> However, I must confess, I tried using an appreciative approach with my 
> ex-husband but I think there were too many external reasons why we 
> couldn't make it work.
>
> Good for you for trying to help your friends!
>
> Nancy
>
>>Hello friends,
>>I need  quick assistance  with some ideas and suggestions.  My family 
>>friends  have newly separated and are already unhappy about having 
>>separated and seeing their marriage (10 years) almost crumble.  t5ghe two 
>>are one extrovert and spontaneous , and the other a relative relticent and 
>>thinking type. They do not seem to know how to redress their differences, 
>>yet they deny that it is beyond recovery. A professional counsellor has 
>>not succeeded to help them.
>>
>>I do remember something about using AI to strengthen relationships, but I 
>>could not locate any article on the ai commons or archive about using AI 
>>to serve a struggling marriage. Any ideas pleas?
>>
>>Thanks in advance,
>>
>>Francis.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>_______________________________________________
>>The Appreciative Inquiry Discussion List is hosted by the David Eccles 
>>School of Business at the University of Utah. Jack Brittain is the list 
>>administrator. For subscription information, go to:
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>
>
> -- 
> Nancy's latest book, Stories of Positive Change in the Community College: 
> Appreciative Inquiry in Action, is available at 
> http://stores.lulu.com/companyofexperts
>
> Nancy E. Stetson, Ed.D.
> * Appreciative Inquiry Facilitator
> * Educational Advisor, Fintelo, www.Fintelo.com
> * Mentor and Assessor, Ph.D. in Education Program
> Specializing in Community College Leadership
> Walden University
>
> "You have to let go of the life you've planned, so as to have the life 
> that is waiting for you."  - Joseph Campbell
>
> _______________________________________________
> The Appreciative Inquiry Discussion List is hosted by the David Eccles 
> School of Business at the University of Utah. Jack Brittain is the list 
> administrator. For subscription information, go to:
> http://mailman.business.utah.edu:8080/mailman/listinfo/ailist
>
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