[Ailist] a i and a struggling marriage: suggestions please

Sat Jan 17 13:13:16 MST 2009

Hello Francis,

I'm wondering, how possible is it to invite them to experience the  
classic AI interview protocol, especially if they deny that it is  
beyond recovery.

Here's a example of what the interview could be.  You would need to  
make the language highly relevant to them and their context:

	• When you enter into marriage, you acknowledge there will be high  
points and low points.  Right now let's just focus on the high points   
of your marriage when you were both really felt the unity of being a  
couple, when you believed that your love would last forever, when you  
trusted and when you "played" together.  Recall a particular time when  
you felt so strong about the security of your marriage.  When was  
that?  What was going on?  Who was there?  What were you doing?  What  
were you saying, or not saying?  What time of day was it?  How were  
you feeling?  What did you see?  Tell that story.
	• In that story, what do you value about yourself?
	• What do you value about your spouse (Name) in that story?
	• What else contributed to making it a high point in your marriage -  
the context, the time, things around you?

If they can find the commonalities - the strengths of each through  
what they valued about each other - they have some ground to build a  
future.  they could proceed with some Dreaming.

	• Imagine you wake up and it's now 10 years into the future. It's  
2019.  How have you developed those strengths and values that you so  
cherish?   How have they played out in your life over the last 10  
years?.  What is it that you are proud of?    What are your children  
saying to you?

If their Dream is a future together, they could then do some Design

	• What's is possible right now for you to move in that direction?

These are my thoughts and I trust  they are not insensitive.

Kind regards,
Robyn.
Robyn Stratton-Berkessel
Creator, Positive Matrix www.positivematrix.com
Founder, L.I.T. Global www.litglobal.com
+1 732 291 0462
+1 917 816 5597 (mobile)
Skype: robynsb

On Jan 16, 2009, at 5:18 PM, Francis Epulani wrote:

Hello friends,
I need  quick assistance  with some ideas and suggestions.  My family  
friends  have newly separated and are already unhappy about having  
separated and seeing their marriage (10 years) almost crumble.  t5ghe  
two are one extrovert and spontaneous , and the other a relative  
relticent and thinking type. They do not seem to know how to redress  
their differences, yet they deny that it is beyond recovery. A  
professional counsellor has not succeeded to help them.

I do remember something about using AI to strengthen relationships,  
but I could not locate any article on the ai commons or archive about  
using AI to serve a struggling marriage. Any ideas pleas?

Thanks in advance,

Francis.

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