[Ailist] "Staying Positive"

[Cindy Manning]

I have appreciated the generative thread of this conversation.    
Julie, what you say here really rings true for me.  I'm thinking  
leaving the word "Positive" out of the conversation is actually most  
helpful when dealing with trauma.  What I really appreciate about this  
story from Rwanda is both the acknowledgement of the trauma and  
listening to the people as they shared their experience (I'm assuming  
listening with compassion and unconditional respect) and also the  
acknowledgement of their intrinsic ability and strength. (appreciating  
what gives life)    This seems so respectful and empathetic, and  
genuine.   Thank you for sharing this story.  I will use it in my work  
with groups.

So many times I've explained to people that appreciative inquiry isn't  
called "positive inquiry" (these were actually David Cooperrider's  
words at a workshop I took.).  I know for myself, at times I have to  
want to move a conversation to the positive because it feels better,  
or the energy improves and later have realized that the real  
empowerment or strength for facing difficult situations and bringing  
about lasting change comes from drawing upon and illuminating that  
which sustains us and finding ways to build connection.  Certainly for  
me it was the drawing upon connection and love that sustained me  
through cancer.  And for my friends who haven't survived the battle,  
it has been the nurturing of connection and love that has been the  
central focus of our time together.  It had nothing to do with being  
positive and everything to do with expressing appreciation for who one  
is and where one is unconditionally and honoring the blessings of  
connection and relationship.

Thanksgiving blessings to all of you. I'm so grateful for this  
community.

Warmly,
Cindy
Cindy Manning  M.A., ABS
The Vibrant Organization
Developing effective leaders, high-performing teams and supporting  
sustainable change.
Eugene, Oregon 97402
541-228-4839


On Nov 25, 2008, at 9:45 AM, Julie Gircys wrote:

> I have been following this thread with great interest and thought I  
> would
> share some of my learning from a workshop hosted by the Narrative  
> Therapy
> Centre in Toronto last month.  In late 2007, David Denborough, Jill  
> Freedman
> and Cheryl White from the Dulwich Centre Foundation (Australia) and  
> the
> Evanston Family Therapy Center (USA) headed to Kigali, Rwanda, to  
> provide
> support and narrative skills training to 34 trauma counsellors and  
> assistant
> lawyers, all of whom are themselves survivors of the Rwandan genocide.
>
> Their work centred on facilitating the creation of "Double-Storied
> Testimony".  First the counselors/survivors documented their  
> experience of
> the effects of the genocide on them, their experiences of injustices  
> and the
> obstacles in the present to healing.  Then they generated a collective
> document on the theme of sustaining themselves in answer to the  
> question
> "What gets you through hard times?".  Participants shared stories  
> about
> getting through hard times, traced the history of their strengths in  
> coping
> throughout their life, and then linked to their collective  
> experience (ie
> family, cultural, religious, community traditions and strengths).   
> The end
> result was a powerful DVD that documents the skills and knowledge of
> genocide survivors in dealing with the effects of trauma in their  
> lives that
> is rich in images and metaphors.
>
> So perhaps the question is not "negative" vs. "positive", but an
> acknowledgement of struggles accompanied by identification of  
> strengths and
> "communitas".  It seems to me that the common outcome from the  
> stories of
> cancer we have shared in this thread is the strengthening of  
> togetherness
> and connection.
>
> Julie Gircys
> Consulting Matrix
> Toronto
> www.consultingmatrix.com
> juliegircys at sympatico.ca
> 416 598 2662
>
>
>
>
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