[Ailist] RE: Staying Positive

[Olen Jones]

I agree with Alice completely.  It's always best to understand what the
group meant, and spending some time with them exploring that question
may lead to greater clarity, and may also open up new ideas for the
group to explore.  Stephen Covey's advice works well, "Seek first to
understand, then to be understood."

Olen Jones, Community Relations
National Community Renaissance 
National CORE
9065 Haven Avenue, Suite 100
Rancho Cucamonga, CA 91730 
(909) 483-2444 Ext. 122
(909) 483-2448 Fax
ojones at nationalcore.org 


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Today's Topics:

   1. "staying positive" (Alice Leibowitz)


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Message: 1
Date: Wed, 19 Nov 2008 07:40:31 -0500
From: "Alice Leibowitz" <alice at insightunlimited.org>
Subject: [Ailist] "staying positive"
To: ailist at lists.business.utah.edu
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	<3149c57a0811190440s7b9828aeqc721b3c0a9a2e9a7 at mail.gmail.com>
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This may be too late for your cancer support group, but it sounds like
you guys should spend some time on affirmative topic choice, to get
clearer on what you mean by "staying positive."

I noticed during the list discussion that several people had a negative
reaction to the words, "staying positive."  Those who responded on the
list seemed to hear the phrase as meaning, "smile all the time, and
never notice what you don't like about cancer."

I heard something quite different. I heard, "We can't get dragged under
by utter hopelessness." So when people suggested that the group
"instead" focus on some specific positive aspect of the cancer
experience (which, by the way, is what the Pollyanna of "Pollyanna-ish"
fame was famous for doing), such as strengths you have found or
relationships which have deepened, it was hard to see how that was
different from "staying positive," just a more specific example.

So I wonder what the people in your group meant. I think spending some
time figuring out exactly what value or behavior group members want to
increase could afford not only clarity that you're all talking about the
same thing, but also confidence that you are increasing something you
actually want.
-- 
Alice Leibowitz
Partner
Insight Unlimited LLC
Non-profit, Community, and Grassroots Consulting
Hartford, CT
alice at insightunlimited.org
www.insightunlimited.org
(860) 956-9299

~Contact us for a free 1-2 hour consultation~


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