[Ailist] "staying positive"

[Alice Leibowitz]

This may be too late for your cancer support group, but it sounds like
you guys should spend some time on affirmative topic choice, to get
clearer on what you mean by "staying positive."

I noticed during the list discussion that several people had a
negative reaction to the words, "staying positive."  Those who
responded on the list seemed to hear the phrase as meaning, "smile all
the time, and never notice what you don't like about cancer."

I heard something quite different. I heard, "We can't get dragged
under by utter hopelessness." So when people suggested that the group
"instead" focus on some specific positive aspect of the cancer
experience (which, by the way, is what the Pollyanna of
"Pollyanna-ish" fame was famous for doing), such as strengths you have
found or relationships which have deepened, it was hard to see how
that was different from "staying positive," just a more specific
example.

So I wonder what the people in your group meant. I think spending some
time figuring out exactly what value or behavior group members want to
increase could afford not only clarity that you're all talking about
the same thing, but also confidence that you are increasing something
you actually want.
-- 
Alice Leibowitz
Partner
Insight Unlimited LLC
Non-profit, Community, and Grassroots Consulting
Hartford, CT
alice at insightunlimited.org
www.insightunlimited.org
(860) 956-9299

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