[Ailist] Re: Connecting with Others

[Kevin Kervick]

Hello Hank:

Carl Rogers is the dude, no doubt about it.  In most change endeavors the 
alliance accounts for about one third of the outcome variance.  Who the 
agent is and how well she is able to authenticate her humanity, strength, 
and allegiance to what she offers are critical change factors.  The stuff 
she does is secondary to that.  Rogers knew that long ago.

Kevin

> "I will risk myself by endeavoring to communicate any persisting  feeling, 
> positive or negative, to my partner - to the full depth  that I understand 
> it in myself - as a living, present part of me.  Then I will risk further 
> by trying to understand, with all the  empathy I can bring to bear, his or 
> her response, whether it is  accusatory and critical or sharing and 
> self-revealing." . . .

When two people are on this plane of communication, there may be hurt
feelings, there may be tears, but the emotional thrill, the human
growth, and the risking of the relationship in hopes that it will get
better is well worth it. The communication that takes place here is
memorable and meaningful.