[Ailist] Re: Connecting with Others

Wed Mar 12 16:35:32 MST 2008

Sergio,

I can hear your spirit come through in your email.  I wonder about all those
people who attended the AI conference in Curitiba--many of them, I think,
are in Sao Paulo.  Are you in touch with any of them? I will forward your
posting to one company there that I know is using AI.

You wrote:  Depreciative Inquiry - HELP!  Sergio, in Brazil, is it called
Depreciative Inquiry or are you making a pun? (Jokes can translate so poorly
from one language to another—if one is not expecting it or unsure.)

- We use Depreciative Inquiry here in Brazil. Good ideas must come from the

leaders, and we are used to call leaders the ones that are in charge. Are
you familiar with Spiral Dynamics?  It may be a communication issues
grounded in vMemes (values, perspective, life conditions). Sometimes it is
beneficial to have the decisions come from the leaders
sometimes better to
have decisions come someplace else.  Perhaps being able to use some of the
values language that Bruce Elkin mentioned would be helpful. 

- Economic results don´t convert in good places to work in. There are

companies that are getting fabulous results and their employees are sad and

unmotivated as they are working by pressure... Ins´t interne motivation and

happiness related to social responsibility?? Well, pressure is part of

companies´ day life, but what I am referring to "emotional pressure". There

are companies that making money but their employees...  From the business
owner’s perspective, it sounds like there is no reason to change—things are
working just fine for them. Until there is a reason for a new vision, what
is the impetus to change the one that is working?  This may be part (or all)
of the issue.

I think we are responsible for all the problems we are having and I´ve been

asking myself what´s wrong. Maybe we still didn´t understand what is AI for,

as we can´t get any result in using it in our companies. Once I heard from a

leader: "AI is just one more tool. There are several tools we can use in our

company", and I heard under the lines - the one I WANT - and I felt myself

incompetent to argue. If what I said was not understandable, maybe I should

learn a bit more and show him how AI is useful... It sounds like you see AI
as a tool as well (tools are useful).  Is this correct? Say more about your
own understanding of AI; how do you tell people about it?

- "the mind is changed when

the heart is moved." This is wonderful, as I am using it in my daily life -

especially in my psychological treatment, and I´ve changed a lot lately. The

final question is: how to MOVE our leaders´ hearts to bring AI to our

companies in Brazil? This question reflects Kevin’s research
question/interest about changing people’s hearts and minds.  Seems to me
that to move them or change them, they must be open. Wondering if what opens
a heart is another open heart? 

I’ve tried to change other too often (in the past :o)!!).  This whole
listserv dialogue has really caused me to step back and realize that when I
do this, my own heart and mind are not likely to be open.  I don’t really
see the other for who they are, instead I see who I want them to become.
And that, I believe signals the other to close the doors and protect
themselves—and rightfully so!  I am now experiencing that my attempts to
change them isn’t very open or loving.  

We seem to be such paradoxical creatures—how often the right thing to do
seems completely contradictory.  Like Rob’s example of the two opposing
desires of his clients—when held in two hands and invited to talk openly
with one another—they merged.

Sergio, what do you think?  And by the way, congratulations on your
contract!

Cheri

-----Mensagem original-----

De: ailist-bounces at lists.business.utah.edu

[mailto:ailist-bounces at lists.business.utah.edu] Em nome de Proteus

Communications

Enviada em: terça-feira, 11 de março de 2008 20:59

Para: 'Charlotte Henley'; 'Kevin Kervick'; ailist at lists.business.utah.edu

Cc: cheri at mobileteamchallenge.com

Assunto: RE: [Ailist] Re: Connecting with Others

I want to add my appreciation for this thread about hierarchy, language,

authentic communication--and thank you Cheri for drawing us out with your

clarifying questions and attentive listening.  (Cheri your ability to

"listen" through the email brings a whole new meaning to "listserv" in how

you serve through listening!) And I'm looking forward to Kevin's elaboration

on "authentic communication"

I'm also curious to hear more about your phrase "the mind is changed when

the heart is moved."  It's a wonderful description of what happens in

dialogue (in the Bohmian sense)--and I believe this (with all my heart!) 

I do have some thoughts to share about this phrase from the perspective of a

developmental psychologist.  

The idea that the mind is changed when the heart is moved is a fundamental

premise of clinical psychologist Gordon Neufeld who has done a lot of

research into the role the limbic/emotional brain (the literal counterpart

to the metaphorical heart) plays in human development and in learning.  He

refers to the limbic centre as the "workhorse" for our maturation--we cannot

learn, adapt, maturate, integrate and reach our full potential as human

beings if we do not experience the sadness and the futility of what we

cannot change, and it's the tears that come with hitting this "wall of

futility" that brings softness, resiliency and adaptability to the brain

(our frontal cortex).   People who have not experienced their own tears

about what has not worked for them in their lives become stuck--their views,

ideas, beliefs about how things "must be" become rigid.  We have become so

averse to tears in North American society that we are breeding generations

of stuck children who grow into stuck adults.  It's very hard to move to

adaptation or to change one's mind when our brains are, quite literally,

"stuck."  

This seems central to our understanding of "dominators" "collaborators"

compromisers...It is very hard, if not impossible, to move from our

positions or "change our minds" without the soft hearts.  So, what are the

conditions under which hearts are moved so that minds can change?

Thanks again everyone for this rich discussion.

Kathryn

Kathryn Thomson

--------------------------

Proteus Communications

proteus at shawbiz.ca

Some doors open only from the inside  Hafiz                            

-----Original Message-----

From: ailist-bounces at lists.business.utah.edu

[mailto:ailist-bounces at lists.business.utah.edu] On Behalf Of Charlotte

Henley

Sent: Tuesday, March 11, 2008 11:35 AM

To: Kevin Kervick; ailist at lists.business.utah.edu

Subject: RE: [Ailist] Re: Connecting with Others

Hello to All and Anne,

      Please continue this discussion.  This is providing a meaningful

exchange

of ideas that leads me to understand AI at a much deeper level.  This is all

about AI.  It has been a long time since there has been such a spirited

dialogue... I was eager to get to my emails today to read the wonderful

thoughts and ideas and practical information that is being posted.  I am

savoring every word.... I am challenged to think.  Loving it!

Charlotte Denny-Henley, Student of AI

Open Door Consulting

Huron, SD

-----Original Message-----

From: ailist-bounces at lists.business.utah.edu

[mailto:ailist-bounces at lists.business.utah.edu]On Behalf Of Kevin

Kervick

Sent: Tuesday, March 11, 2008 10:06 AM

To: ailist at lists.business.utah.edu

Subject: Re: [Ailist] Re: Connecting with Others

Hello Cheri:

Thank you for asking.  Before I do so and because the moderator and others

are concerned about focus I want to be sure this is appropriate for this

listserv.  It interests me and apparently you but it may be off base for

others.

kevin

  Kevin wrote:

  Kevin wrote:

  Prevailing notions of peace-making often entail tiptoeing around

differences

  in the search for the elusive convergence of attitudes and values.  But

  without authentic communication, these efforts are pseudo-mutual and

achieve

  little.  The underlying beliefs embedded in this approach are that access

  and authenticity are the only routes to durable change and that attitudes

  are often influenced by emotion - the mind is changed when the heart is

  moved.

  Can you define for me "authentic communication" and say more about what

you mean by "access".

  Cheri

  _______________________________________________

  The Appreciative Inquiry Discussion List is hosted by the David Eccles

School of Business at the University of Utah. Jack Brittain is the list

administrator. For subscription information, go to:

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_______________________________________________

The Appreciative Inquiry Discussion List is hosted by the David Eccles

School of Business at the University of Utah. Jack Brittain is the list

administrator. For subscription information, go to:

http://mailman.business.utah.edu:8080/mailman/listinfo/ailist

_______________________________________________

The Appreciative Inquiry Discussion List is hosted by the David Eccles

School of Business at the University of Utah. Jack Brittain is the list

administrator. For subscription information, go to:

http://mailman.business.utah.edu:8080/mailman/listinfo/ailist

_______________________________________________

The Appreciative Inquiry Discussion List is hosted by the David Eccles

School of Business at the University of Utah. Jack Brittain is the list

administrator. For subscription information, go to:

http://mailman.business.utah.edu:8080/mailman/listinfo/ailist

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