[Ailist] Re: Connecting with Others

[Kevin Kervick]

>
> Dominators impose their values on others to get aggreement and 
> collaborators
> compromise their values for the sake of aggreement.  (Persoanlly I like 
> the idea
> of collaboration, but as was pointed out last year on the listserve in a
> conversation about cooperation and collaboration, folks from Europe find 
> the idea
> of collaboration difficult as it evokes memories of the "collaborators 
> with the
> Nazis".  In this sense collaboration means to compromise ones values).
>
> In some situations it may be appropriate to dominate or collaborate but 
> the
> question I think Kevin is raising is:  Is there a middle way that is 
> beyond
> domination or collaboration that ultimately is more creative, fruitful, 
> and
> sustainable?

Yes, perfect.  I choose to push against the collaborator pole because my 
fear has been that there is an anti leadership anti authority bias in 
western liberal thinking that is destroying community.  Collaboration has 
become cool, so when the word is used as an alternative to power it takes on 
a squishy meaning.  Obviously good leaders are also collaborators.  They are 
well-differentiated people.  But September 11 has forced us to confront this 
issue of whether there is righteous power to influence others.  That scares 
us and it should.  But it should not cause us to retreat to the 
non-influence position and I fear that is where we are heading again.  That 
gets votes.

Kevin