[Ailist] Re: Connecting with Others

[Rob Voyle]

Hi Cheri and Kevin

I was responding to Kevin's use of the words contrasting two poles in many 
group process.  In the contex of what he wrote about dominators and 
collaborators I would say:

Dominators impose their values on others to get aggreement and collaborators 
compromise their values for the sake of aggreement.  (Persoanlly I like the idea 
of collaboration, but as was pointed out last year on the listserve in a 
conversation about cooperation and collaboration, folks from Europe find the idea 
of collaboration difficult as it evokes memories of the "collaborators with the 
Nazis".  In this sense collaboration means to compromise ones values).

In some situations it may be appropriate to dominate or collaborate but the 
question I think Kevin is raising is:  Is there a middle way that is beyond 
domination or collaboration that ultimately is more creative, fruitful, and 
sustainable?

What I value and think is at the heart of appreciative inquiry is this middle way.  
Of creating genuine conversation or dialogue that allows deeper unifying values 
to arise, rather than being imposed or compromised. At this point I would say we 
have gone from being dominators or collaborators to co-creators. 

Rob
  
Robert J. Voyle, Psy.D.
Director, Clergy Leadership Institute
For Coaching and Training in Appreciative Inquiry
Author: Core Elements of the Appreciative Way 
http://www.clergyleadership.com/
503-647-2378 or 503-647-2382








On 11 Mar 2008 at 8:29, Cheri Torres wrote:

> Rob,
> 
> Please say more about what you mean by collaborators.
> 
> Cheri
> 
> 
> I think your idea of the middle ground, not dominators or
> collaborators is
> right on and is what I am also talking of.  What I deeply value
> about the
> appreciative way is it helps people find that middle ground that
> becomes a
> place of life-giving synergy and at that moment becomes a place of
> transcendence in that people are no longer working at the level of
> consciousness in which dominators or collaborators exist.
> 
> If you are interested I have written on the idea of agenda's in
> coaching
> and share my own agenda at:
> http://www.clergyleadership.com/coaching/coaching-agenda.html
> 
> Rob
> 
> Robert J. Voyle, Psy.D.
> Director, Clergy Leadership Institute
> For Coaching and Training in Appreciative Inquiry
> Author: Core Elements of the Appreciative Way 
> http://www.clergyleadership.com/
> 503-647-2378 or 503-647-2382
> 
> 
> 
> 
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