[Ailist] Re: Connecting with Others

[Kevin Kervick]

Rob wrote:

> I said he became curious, but I don't think the approach is neutral. From
> a constructionist perspective neutrality is impossible.  I think as
> consultants or psychotherpists (one of my former professions) we are
> deluded if we think we are neutral, what we need to do is be open with our
> agenda.  It is not for us to impose our agenda on others, but to find
> those people with whom our agenda and their agenda can merge to co-create
> something new.

I admire this perspective very much.  And I am delighted that we have found 
some synergy.  Our conversation may be indicative of the type of 
conversation that can occur when transparency and authenticity are present 
as you so well outline above.  In the paper I write:

Prevailing notions of peace-making often entail tiptoeing around differences 
in the search for the elusive convergence of attitudes and values.  But 
without authentic communication, these efforts are pseudo-mutual and achieve 
little.  The underlying beliefs embedded in this approach are that access 
and authenticity are the only routes to durable change and that attitudes 
are often influenced by emotion - the mind is changed when the heart is 
moved.

Have you seen Bill Doherty's work, "Morality and Psychotherapy"?  He debunks 
the myth of value neutrality in psychotherapy in a very compelling way.

> I think your idea of the middle ground, not dominators or collaborators is
> right on and is what I am also talking of.  What I deeply value about the
> appreciative way is it helps people find that middle ground that becomes a
> place of life-giving synergy and at that moment becomes a place of
> transcendence in that people are no longer working at the level of
> consciousness in which dominators or collaborators exist.
>
> If you are interested I have written on the idea of agenda's in coaching
> and share my own agenda at:
> http://www.clergyleadership.com/coaching/coaching-agenda.html

Your work looks very interesting indeed.  I have several friends who are 
Pastors and I will pass your info along to them.

Best regards,

Kevin