[Ailist] How does it work?

[Hank Kearns]

I  am a retired health teachers. I have always been looking for  
information to share with my students concerning mental health and  
relationships. Sine I’m a “old as dirt,” I started with Maslow and  
his hierarchy concepts, that lead to Carl Rogers and his excellent  
work on communication skills, followed by Albert Ellis, Timothy Beck  
and Cognitive Psychology, and more recently Positive Psychology lead  
by Seligman and Peterson.   Along the way I stumbled onto  
Appreciative Inquiry. I tried to get my school to utilize AI concepts  
in changing our school, but was not successful . I’ve been a lurker  
to this list and a fan of AI for many years. Recently I have tried to  
use AI in my personal life. I have no problem with the major  
principles of AI, but I have to admit that I’m not convinced about  
ignoring the bad.

Let me give you an example. Let’s say we are working with a school   
that has a real problem with bullying. Can you ignore the physical  
and emotional pain that is being inflicted while you identify the  
positive and encourage it to grow? (I know I’m in trouble asking this  
kind of question, but I am looking for an answer.) :)

Perhaps a less harmful situation. In your marriage your spouse is a  
slob. He or she never puts things away. Besides that your spouse is  
loving, supportive, and responsible at work and with your children.  
They just are not very neat. Carl Rogers would say that you express  
your persist feelings. You would explain that you are embarrassed  
with the way your house looks, and you want him or her to take in  
consideration your feelings and put things away when he or she is  
done with.

I’m showing my ignorance here, but I have a problem with this.

Hank Kearns
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www.greydogmac.com

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. Albert Eistein