[Ailist] Developing Nonviolent Communication: An Integral Approach

[Stephanie West Allen]

Excerpt:

 >>The Four Steps of NVC

        Nonviolent Communication helps us to make clear observations,  
express and hear feelings empathically, identify needs and to make  
doable requests. By being conscious of these steps we bring ourselves  
closer to the kind of empathic connection that will facilitate  
conflict resolution. These steps are used both for expressing  
ourselves and for hearing other’s expressions. They can be used  
explicitly or implicitly, i.e., by speaking them, or as an awareness  
of how the steps have been covered because of the context or the  
quality of the dialogue. They can be used in a very natural way,  
although at first they may seem forced or lacking in authenticity.

       Step 1- Accurate observation

       Krishnamurti has said,  “The highest form of intelligence is  
the ability to observe without evaluating”  (Rosenberg, 2003a, p.  
10). An accurate observation describes what is happening or what  
people are saying without adding any evaluation, to see and hear, as  
a video camera would record. Most people find this difficult. For  
example to say ‘John is angry’ would not be an observation as there  
is an added interpretation to what the camera might record. ‘John’s  
face is red and he is speaking in a voice that is louder than I like’  
or ‘John told me he is angry’ would be an observation.

        NVC acknowledges that we use evaluations but recommends  
separating them from observations. For example, one could say, ‘When  
John’s face is red I think he is angry’. That would be an observation  
of what I am seeing and thinking. In learning NVC, much time is spent  
in learning and mastering this skill.<<

Rest here:

http://filebox.vt.edu/users/tcaruso/NVC%20Research%20Files/NVC% 
20Theory/Beck2004-Masters%20Thesis.doc

Best,

Stephanie

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Stephanie West Allen, JD
http://www.brainsonpurpose.com
http://www.idealawg.net
Denver, CO USA