[Ailist] Fake it till ya make it

Fri May 11 16:13:36 MDT 2007

Hi all:
I think that I am a little uncomfortable with the choice of language here.  
The words "faking" and "lying" seem less positive to me than "living your way  
into the answers" as Rainer Maria Rilke, the Czech poet wrote:

 "I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I  can, to have patience with 
everything unresolved in your heart and to try to  love the questions 
themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a  very foreign language. 
Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to  you now, because 
you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live  everything. Live 
the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you  will 
gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." -  Rainer Maria 
Rilke, _Letters to a Young  Poet_ 
(http://www.sfgoth.com/~immanis/rilke/letter1.html)  

But lying or faking seem to me to be suggesting fraud rather  than the 
"feeling like a fraud" syndrome that you are truly talking  about.

Anyone else uncomfortable with the language? It's one of  the founding 
principles of appreciative inquiry that language has  power. 
Any thoughts?

Esther

Hi  Cheri,

I like your "rabbit hole", and think when we discover the frame  that might
have the pragmatic aspect to it as well.

I remember when  I so desperately wanted a child and wasn't being successful,
one of my  friends said to me something along the lines of "since it's
commonly  accepted that desperation seems not to be the right frame of mind
for  child-bearing, couldn't you pretend to yourself that you didn't  really
care, and it would all come right?"  My response was "but I  would know that
I was lying, and so it wouldn't work - this isn't a desire  that I can
pretend away."

So I wonder if the discomfort some of us  seem to have is with the term "lie"
or the sense of "faking it", when what  we're expressing instead is that
deepest desire we have to grow toward  something (even if it isn't evident to
anyone else that we can achieve  it).  That deep desire, backed by some
pragmatic sense of how the  world works, also gives us what we need to take
practical steps toward it  (even if we have to wait sometimes for the
universe to reveal what those  might be).  (I'm with you, Bruce, I think the
"wish and it will be  yours" message does service to know  one.)

Thanks,
Louise

-----Original Message-----
From:  ailist-bounces at lists.business.utah.edu
[mailto:ailist-bounces at lists.business.utah.edu]  On Behalf Of Cheri Torres
Sent: May 11, 2007 2:12 PM
To: 'Anna spector';  ailist at lists.business.utah.edu
Subject: RE: [Ailist] Fake it till ya make  it

Hmmmm...

Perhaps in some sense we are always "faking" it,  which is why in some
instances people have this sense of being "out on a  limb" and that it is
somehow all made up.

...I'm thinking we are  just beginning to touch the tip of what our brains
might actually be  doing--perhaps we can't know yet because we haven't
created the frame yet  to see it differently.  Since the brain responds to
the illusory and  imagination as if it were real...perhaps that is all we are
ever doing when  we are responding to "what is out there".

But I have now strayed very  far down the rabbit hole....
Cheri

-----Original  Message-----
From:  ailist-bounces at lists.business.utah.edu
[mailto:ailist-bounces at lists.business.utah.edu]  On Behalf Of Anna spector
Sent: Friday, May 11, 2007 3:15 PM
To:  ailist at lists.business.utah.edu
Subject: Re: [Ailist] Fake it till ya make  it

This thread is awesome!  I love hearing from some of my  favorite people on
here!  

I think we  should all be allowed to wear a big sign that says "UNDER
CONSTRUCTION  CHECK BACK LATER."  
I think that the lies for the sake of  moving towards becoming something
more are helpful, if we are indeed moving  forward.  If we can match out
behavior with our "lies," authentic  change can happen and that is truly
exciting!   I believe in more  than fake it until you make it.  I think that
we don't ever really  fake it, I believe that we already know we have the
ability to do it, we  just lack follow through.  If we exhibit the behavior,
or fake it,  aren't we doing it?  Plato used to tell his students that there
wasn't  anything new to learn, but only things to be discovered that  already
existed.

Best,
Anna  Spector
MA, Organizational Psychology, Seattle.

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_______________________________________________
The  Appreciative Inquiry Discussion List is hosted by the David Eccles
School  of Business at the University of Utah. Jack Brittain is the  list
administrator. For subscription information, go  to:
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_______________________________________________
The  Appreciative Inquiry Discussion List is hosted by the David Eccles 
School of  Business at the University of Utah. Jack Brittain is the list 
administrator.  For subscription information, go  to:
http://mailman.business.utah.edu:8080/mailman/listinfo/ailist

Esther Ewing
The Change Alliance
330 East 38th St. Suite  53K
New York, NY 10016, USA
Telephone: 212-661-6024
Building  Strength from Within