[Ailist] Re: Ailist Digest, Vol 50, Issue 12

[Amanda Trosten-Bloom]

I've thought a lot about "life lies," and their value - or not.  Last  
summer, I took my daughter to see Man of La Mancha:  Don Quixote's  
"life lies" were truer than the "truth" that eventually killed him.

Similarly, as a student of Seligman's book Learned Optimism, I saw  
that people who tell themselves more optimistic stories about their  
condition are more likely to be physically healthy, happy, and high- 
functioning.

In AA, newly sober alcoholics are advised to "act as if" they are the  
people they wish to become. They act as if they are courageous,  
rather than indulging their fear . . . act as if they are generous,  
rather than submitting to selfishness.  Theory says that if they act  
as if for long enough, they will the people they want to be. They act  
as if they are courageous, rather than indulging their fear . . . act  
as if they are generous, rather than submitting to selfishness.  The  
article that you offered, Stephanie, gives me some basis for  
understanding why that might be more than a change of habit . . .  
perhaps it's rewiring neurochemisty, which changes personalities.

So I ask myself, what is this "reality" that it's so important that I  
be in touch with?  Is it OK for me to hold a story about life that  
others might experience as a lie - so long as that story gives life,  
rather than interferes with it?  So long as it lifts myself and  
others up, rather than making us less?

Perhaps, as constructionists we have an obligation to choose the  
stories that will take us, others, and society as a whole towards the  
light.

Or perhaps, we simply need to temper that "reality" with healthy  
doses of optimism and possibility.

Amanda Trosten-Bloom
Principal
Corporation for Positive Change
303-279-2240
amanda at positivechange.org
www.positivechange.org

Co-Author of The Power of Appreciative Inquiry





On May 10, 2007, at 4:00 PM, ailist-request at lists.business.utah.edu  
wrote:

>
> Hi, Bruce. I think the man was serious.
>
> I believe that the Life Lie it is a matter of degree and needs to be
> tempered with something — wisdom? practicality? sanity? Here is
> something on "acting as if":
>
> http://westallen.typepad.com/idealawg/2007/04/selfleadership_.html
>
> What is that line that Jimmy Stewart said in Harvey about finally
> winning out over reality, or something like that?
>
> The Secret was supposedly created after the woman (can't recall her
> name) read Wallace Wattle's The Science of Getting Rich. (You can
> download SOGR for free lots of place on the Internet including here:
> http://www.scienceofgettingrich.net/ ) The movie left out much of
> what Wattles says about his living in a "Certain Way."
>
> Best,
>
> Stephanie
> ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
> Stephanie West Allen, JD
> http://www.idealawg.com
> http://www.AllenInChallenge.com
> Denver. CO USA
>
>
>
> On May 9, 2007, at 2:22 PM, Bruce Elkin wrote:
>
>> Hi Stephanie,
>> I couldn’t tell wether this piece was a spoof, or serious.  You?
>>
>> There is research that shows that people with “slightly positive
>> illusions” about themselves and their capacity produce better
>> results than those with realistic or pessimistic assessments of
>> themselves, but the notion that you can live your life lie, ignore
>> reality, and assure yourself of a glorious future is
>  well, silly.
>>
>> And I think that’s the way this piece was meant to be taken.  It
>> gave me a bit of a chuckle.
>>
>> But, sadly, I’ve run across many people who Do live their life like
>> this, and it always results in tragedy.  (See my posts on “Be
>> Careful of The Secret” on my blog
>> (Createwhatmattersmost.blogspot.com for a story about just such a
>> tragedy that befell a money-manifesting master named Judy.  Sad!)
>>
>> All the best!
>> Bruce
>> PS I tried to reply to the list as well, but somehow the format the
>> email came in wouldn’t let me.??