[Ailist] Re: Questions to Celebrate Life

[Nancy Stetson]

>What a great story, Cindy.  I am sure that losing a child is life's greatest mystery...it's the "wrong" order of things. But you managed to turn it into blessings for others.

Bless you,

Nancy

>Hello to all of you.   I am new to this list, but I see a place here where I
>might have some input.   10 years ago I lost my 19 year old son to a drug
>overdose and I searched and brainstormed for positive ways to celebrate his
>life.  Two hands-on activities have proved to be beneficial for family and
>friends.  In fact now, 10 years later, both activities still continue to be
>a source of joy for those who miss him.
>
>1.  Memory Book - Prior to his funeral, we put together a memory - or
>scrapbook - of Dan's life.   Everyone who wished to contributed to the book
>- parents, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and friends.
>People contributed what meant the most to them - pictures, movie tickets,
>programs from shows and events, creative photo and poetry created on
>computer, on and on.  Anything that they found would connect them to Dan.
>Then they had a page in the book to put it all in and write whatever they
>wanted.
>	This turned out to be a very joyous project and something that is a
>"living tribute" Dan as family and friends still contribute to the book
>today.
>
>2.  Celebration of Life - This came about as a way to help Dan's cousins and
>friends cope with the loss and continues to this day.  The first time was
>the eve of his funeral, but it has now switched to his birthday every year.
>On this night I continue to open my home to all who wish to come and we
>update the memory book, enjoy each others company, and at 8:00 pm we have a
>balloon release (may not be environmentally friendly, but it helps the
>heart).  Each person says a few "words" to Dan and releases the balloon into
>the night sky.  It is a very healing event.  I never send out invitations --
>I just know that this group will simply show up at my door around 6 or 7 pm.
>Now, 10 years later, we still keep this night open for people who want to
>come and celebrate.  His friends and cousins are now married and having
>children of their own, but they continue to come and bring their spouses and
>young children with them.  
>
>I love this because it brings home to the group - at least once a year - the
>drug prevention messages that I now spend my life working to get out there!
>
>Anyway,  something told me I needed to share this.
>
>Cindy
>

-- 
"The real act of discovery consists not in finding new lands but seeing with new eyes." Proust
"We do not see the world as it is. We see the world as we are." The Talmud

Nancy E. Stetson, Ed.D.
Specializing in Appreciative Coaching, Consulting, Facilitating,
Keynoting, Teaching, Training, Writing and Appreciative Inquiry
Rohnert Park, CA and Kirkland, WA
707.878.9340 (cell)
Fax numbers in both locations available upon request

Nancy is co-author of "Appreciative Inquiry in the Community College: Early Stories of Success" ($19)
http://www.league.org/store/catalog.htm?VCS=01db3f4bd85824ca839b2951118953d1&Iit=13&Ict=2