[Ailist] Re: End of Life

[Verna Blewett]

Dear Joan

My family used exactly the sort of approach you describe below at our
mother's funeral a couple of years ago. Family and close friends gathered in
her lounge room - her body had already been cremated so we had her ashes on
the mantelpiece. We formed a circle and took the opportunity to tell stories
and remember what we loved about her.  Some people came prepared with poems
or short stories they had written, others extemporised. We sang a couple of
her favourite songs, and then shared a buffet lunch. It was the most
civilised and right way to celebrate her life and say goodbye.

This style is not for everyone, of course - some would regard it as
unconventional.  We were a small group; my mother died at 90 years of age
and had outlived most of her mates and our family is small in number.  We
didn't want people who didn't know her or us there, so there was no church
official or funeral director.  But it was heart-felt and peaceful and calm -
I can recommend such an approach.

Dr Verna Blewett
Director                                            Visiting Research Fellow
New Horizon Consulting Pty Ltd            Labour Studies
13A Dudley Rd                                   School of Social Sciences
Marryatville SA  5068                          University of Adelaide
Australia          
Ph +61 8 8361  2501
Fax +61 8 8361 2501
Mobile 0402 990 066
Email: verna at newhorizon.com.au
http://www.newhorizon.com.au
                          Working to improve organisations
 
solar NOT nuclear
 
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on 10/3/07 3:36 AM, Joanchad10 at aol.com at Joanchad10 at aol.com wrote:

> Olen Jones: Request about end of life
>  
> Tony Silbert and I are writing a book, "Healing Conversations at End of
> Life" and I am working in that field.  We use AI to: 1) reframe the  dying
> process 
>  2) describe how to engage another in an appreciative  life review and 3) how
> to have conversations so that people can answer the  universal questions, Was
> I loved? and Was my life meaningful? We provide  protocols and hints on how
> to interview the dying person.
>  
> If you are speaking of how to support the residents left behind after a
> death I can imagine many ways Ai could be useful.  A remembrance circle of
> telling stories about what people appreciated most about the one who has  gone
> is 
> one idea (possibly setting up a protocol to use in these rituals).   On a more
> general level becoming comfortable with the topic of death, letting  people
> know about Kubler-Ross' stages of loss and transition and how to move  through
> them are a few ideas. I'd be glad to talk further with you.
> Joan W.  Chadbourne Ed.D.
> Innovation Partners International
> 34 Garrison  St.
> Portland, ME 04102
> 207-828-1339
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