[Ailist] AI and Coaching - not only the coachee but also his boss

[Rob Voyle]

Hi Esther

If you do have access to the boss the critical questions of the boss are:

what do you want to see in the employee or have the employee do?
What are you doing to achieve that?
How is it working?
When have you seen the employee doing what you desire?
What could you do differently to achieve your desired outcome.

The crazy thing in our society is that people don't pay attention to the outcome 
of their actions and get angry with employees when they persist in undesired 
behaviors, without being aware of how their behavior is contributing to the 
undesired behaviors, and more importantly are unaware of what they could do to 
empower the desired behaviors.

Rob
  
Robert J. Voyle, Psy.D.
Director, Clergy Leadership Institute
For Coaching and Training in Appreciative Inquiry
Author: Core Elements of the Appreciative Way 
http://www.clergyleadership.com/
503-647-2378 or 503-647-2382

On 4 Jul 2007 at 20:15, ewingchange at aol.com wrote:

> Thanks Rob, those are great questions. I have access I believe but
> the assignment is just starting.
> Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: "Rob Voyle" <rob at voyle.com>
> 
> Date: Wed, 04 Jul 2007 10:09:16 
> To:EwingChange at aol.com
> Subject: Re: [Ailist] AI and Coaching - not only the coachee but
> also his boss
> 
> 
> Hi Esther
> 
> Self-esteem is a byproduct of doing that which a person esteems.  it
> is 
> impossible to create genuine esteem in a vacuum.  To help raise
> esteem you 
> would need to discover what the person esteems and then help them
> discover 
> their resources to accomplish that.  I would agree with Cheri's
> comments about 
> helping the person develop self-effacacy, by helping them be 
> effective/competent in the things they value.  To have a sense of
> self-esteem or 
> self-effacacy without reference to doing things they esteem or are
> actually 
> effective at would be delusionary and potentially dangerous.
> 
> With respect to changing the boss:  "What access do you have to the
> boss?"  If 
> you don't have access then you can't change them.  The danger in
> these types of 
> coaching situations where there is a non present "problem person" is
> that the 
> entire focus is on the non-present person who no one can change.  In
> this 
> situation the focus needs to be on the present client.  I would have
> 5 questions 
> of the client with respect to the boss:
> 
> How are you around the boss?
> How do you want to be around the boss? 
> Why would being that way around the boss be valuable to you?
> When have you been that way in the past?
> What do you need in order to be that way with the boss in the
> present moment?
> 
> Rob
>   
> Robert J. Voyle, Psy.D.
> Director, Clergy Leadership Institute
> For Coaching and Training in Appreciative Inquiry
> Author: Core Elements of the Appreciative Way 
> http://www.clergyleadership.com/
> 503-647-2378 or 503-647-2382
> 
> On 3 Jul 2007 at 8:13, EwingChange at aol.com wrote:
> 
> > I am about to take on a coaching assignment where an  individual
> has
> > quite 
> > low self-esteem as well as a poor relationship with his  boss. I
> > have had some 
> > preliminary conversations with him and he gets quite  excited
> about
> > the work 
> > (and is convinced it is important to do) and then he has  a
> > conversation with 
> > his boss who is apparently hyper-critical and his esteem and 
> his
> > energy gets 
> > dashed.
> >  
> > I would love it if he could learn to be more resilient and I 
> will
> > be working 
> > with him on this but does anyone have any suggestions about how 
> I
> > might work 
> > to influence the boss who, it seems, has some beliefs that are 
> > counter to 
> > how I would like to work. Specifically she seems to believe that
> > being 
> > encouraging is "to ignore the facts" and does not believe that
> > people need  time to 
> > make behaviour change.
> >  
> > Any thoughts?
> >  
> > Esther Ewing
> > The Change Alliance
> > 330 East 38th St. Suite  53K
> > New York, NY 10016, USA
> > Telephone: 212-661-6024
> > Building  Strength from Within
> > 
> > 
> > 
> >    
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> 
>