[Ailist] Nonviolent Communication

[Mike Sands]

So, perhaps a label to replace "non violent" is not immediately apparent.

Still, the AI work has shown me that in a "one with one" conversation it is often fairly easy to help one person at a time move into feelings of energy, optimism, buoyancy and confidence by assisting them to redirect their attention and dwell on stories of their past in which they had feelings they liked.

This is done basically through expressing curiosity and interest and attending the person.  The attention of the asker/listener is like rain on the desert garden of the client-partner who's feelings can be helped to evolve from desert to dessert - shift into positive feelings.  

As the client (or friend) works to answer  helio-seeking questions (such as, "Tell me about a time when you were entralled") they search their memories and so reawaken and feel again, now,  feelings that accompanied the remembered event.

This is more than non-violent communication it is nourishing??or _____ (your word)_____communication.

It is worth noting that doing this a number of times automatically gives the friend an automatic resource when they want to feel optimisitic and buoyant.  It is also highly generative of good feelings in the questioner - what a wonderful skill to have, thing to do - to ask, listen and so guide the client/friend into an "in this moment" experience of their best selves.

This is the power of the D for Discovery  question  - tell me about a time you solved a problem, tell me about writing the poem, tell me what it was that drew you into that book.  And then - the icing on the cake - Without being humble what was it about yourself that helped it happen.

This seems to presuppose the whole communication is intended to be almost therapeutic.  Well what seems to happen is that once a person gains the skills of leading a nourshing conversation this charactersitic comes out more in all conversations they have.  A person who has helped people find their qualities tends to learn that all people have qualities and so the skilled person draws them out - simply by choosing what to ask about.

And once the relationship vehicle is constructed the business of the "meeting" can be done.

A lot of this information, seems to me to be highly consistent with the interventions of NLP - that commonality was what attracted me to AI in the first place.

Thanks for listening, I had fun.

Mike

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