[Ailist] Anti-humility

[Koteen, Earl W.]

Pete,
 
I have been following some of this string and am struck by the following
paragraph from your note below:
 

Getting people who display action and character that is "anti-humility" to
engage in a productive change process, like AI is difficult.  I need more
insight on how to do that.  Somehow, the "business case for change" needs to
be created and presented to focus them on the potential positive outcomes of
the process -- and the merits of the process itself -- so that they can
suspend their "list one feelings" long enough for the process to draw them
in and calm their spirits. 

I'm more than a little suspect of bifurcating emotions/behaviors and of
identifying action and character as anti-humility.  This is not to say that
I'm not guilty of such analysis when I'm frustrated in the midst of a change
effort, but I'm reluctant to justify my judgments.  My suspicion is that
nearly all anti-humility is well rationalized by the person displaying it,
and my judgment of another's HQ (humility quotient) is likely to be evidence
that my own is dropping.

I have often found that under such circumstances, it's time to drop back,
radically accept what is, and try to get a better understanding of the
perspective of my adversary.   All generalizable advice for these situations
is likely to be of very limited usefulness because it is precisely the
specific thoughts and values of the adversary which determine the best
course of action.  Increasingly I'm finding that the adversary has had an
epiphany and I'm to the one who needs a humility adjustment. 

Thank you for bringing "ephiphany" into the mix.  I was first exposed to the
term when studying James Joyce.  His use of it in "Portrait of the Artist as
a Young Man" and his later works gives special insight to those who have
experienced them but couldn't name what they'd experienced.

Earl

-----Original Message-----
From: Peter Jay Sorenson [mailto:sorensop@onramp.net]
Sent: Saturday, August 26, 2000 11:54 AM
To: AIList
Subject: [Ailist] Some thoughts on "epiphanies"


Dear friends, 

Several of you have been kind enough to send me personal notes thanking me
for the thoughts I penned in the note from Sat 19 Aug on "grief, despair,
and anger" that was a response to Jack brittain's note of the same title on
the previous day. 


Thank you for your feedback.  It is helpful to know that my thoughts made
sense to you. 
Some questions that you have posed to me have caused me to reflect more
deeply about the "epiphany" process that I discussed in my note. 


I even went back to my "American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language
- 3rd Edition" to make sure I was using the word appropriately.  It turns
out that, in this case, I believe I was!!  My mother would have been proud
of me!! (She was a school teacher with high standards of English language
useage.) 


The relevant meanings cited for epiphany are three: 
#2.  A revelatory manifestation of a divine being. 
#3a.  A sudden manifiestation of the essence or meaning of something. 
#3b.  A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden
intuitive realization. 


The example I cited of an epiphany in the previous note was regarding the
death of my wife and son in 1985.  As the events were unfolding I was fully
in the grip of the first list (grief, despair, anger, fear, uncertainty,
ambiguity, doubt)(I would also add helplessness and hopelessness to that
list). 


On the first night as these events unfolded I could only sleep a couple of
hours.  I arose at about 2AM and went on a "walk-about."  I was restless and
unsettled and had to meditate upon and ponder about my circumstances.  It
was a great agony and wrestle of a couple of hours.  But something occured
in that period of time.  "And that has made all the difference." (Robert
Frost, The Road Not Taken, 1916) 
That epiphany unfolded my purpose and role in the situation with great
clarity.  I even knew something of the process for moving forward, but the
process was less clear.  It was the purpose and role that had become crystal
clear.  I had moved to the second list (letting go, forgiveness, hope, core
values, dedication, service, selflessness, humility).  As is typical of the
mourning process I cycled back and forth between the first and second list
from time to time and needed reminders to get me centered again.  But the
path opened up a step or two at a time. 


As I think about my consulting engagements over the last batch of years I
have come to realize that this same process is a part of what I try to help
my clients experience.  I am usually trying to help folks understand the
essence or meaning of some situation.  I am trying to help them comprehend
or percieve reality differently.  Usually by an intuitive, insight-based
process.  In other words, I am trying to create a setting, context, or
circumstance in which they can experience an epiphany in their work and
personal life.  I cannot create the epiphany for them.  I can try to create
the conditions under which the epiphany can occur. 


AI is a structured process that helps people experience epiphany based on
the foundation of that which is positive, good, and uplifting.  The
foundation of the process is the what-is-working foundation.  A foundation
that is oriented towards growth, development, and becoming -- fulfilling
potential.  One that is based upon inclusion, free will, enlistment,
engagement, and commitment.  It is ultimately aimed at creating long term
achievement of desired outcomes by getting at the heart and roots of cause.
AI at its best deals at the level of often invisible systemic relationships,
rather than dealing with just the symptoms and what is visible. 


One of the things that I am continuing to ponder is the role of humility in
leading and changing organizations.  I am often running into pride,
arrogance, hautiness, selfishness, self-absorption, conceit, deception, and
duplicity in people's action and character in organizations.  Those seem
like things that go in the first list, or perhaps a correlary list to the
first list.  These characteristics stand in opposition to humility and the
second list.  They are blocks to the epiphany process. 


Getting people who display action and character that is "anti-humility" to
engage in a productive change process, like AI is difficult.  I need more
insight on how to do that.  Somehow, the "business case for change" needs to
be created and presented to focus them on the potential positive outcomes of
the process -- and the merits of the process itself -- so that they can
suspend their "list one feelings" long enough for the process to draw them
in and calm their spirits. 


Ah!  Resistance, you are a friend who shows me where the pain and doubt
reside.  But I have difficulty embracing you for what you can help me do! 


May you create the setting in which your epiphanies may occur! 
Pete.