[Ailist] Fw: Re: Teacher Mentoring Report--Honoring Anger, Sadness

[Cbtorres@aol.com]

In response to honoring anger and sadness in the grief process--

I understand exactly where this person is--and it speaks to honoring and 
acknowledging what is important for people in the moment.  There is a 
difference between speaking one's truth (especially if we are dealing with 
emotional stuff) and wallowing in it.  This is perhaps where Solution-focused 
Therapy would have some input.  

The skill of a facilitator comes in knowing when people have felt 
acknowledged and it is opportune to move forward.  Spin cycling around anger 
and sadness can lead to depression and immobilization, and when you shift 
from "working through" something to "spin cycling" with it depends upon the 
circumstances and the people involved--sometimes people need to be with their 
grief long enough to pull it all up and release it.  Tough call.  I think it 
was Maya Angelou who said something like

The first time my friend comes to me in sadness, grief or anger, I console 
her.  The second time we share ice cream and cookies and we go through the 
whole thing again.  The third time I support making the decision to move 
forward, though she may continue to recount the story again and again--I do 
not go there with her.  After that if she is not willing to look forward to a 
new future, then I am no longer interested in discussing this topic with her 
and I do not.

Cheri

* * * * * *
Cheri B. Torres
Mobile Team Challenge
www.mobileteamchallenge.com
cheri@mobileteamchallenge.com
PO Box 6275, Maryville, TN 37802
888-681-0146      865-681-0146
Fax 865-982-7721