[Ailist] Ai and feelings

[Nick Heap]

On Thursday, August 17, 2000 7:39 PM, Peggy Holman [SMTP:pholman@msn.com] 
wrote:
>
> This message came off of the Open Space list.  Thought I'd see what
> perspectives my colleagues on the AI list have on it.
>
> Peggy Holman
>
>
> > My experience with Appreciative Inquiry is that it has its place, but 
that
> > it precludes grief cycle work from doing its work and those items that
> need
> > to be spoken that are rooted in being mad or sad or in denial don't get
> > their chance to lead to their healing work. At least in the early 
stages.
> >
> > In my personal experience, I have been in an OST meeting in which I was
> > angry. I needed to express what was so for me. Appreciative Inquiry 
caused
> > me to feel that it was wrong to offer my input from my passion. And I
> ended
> > up angrier. I was asked to think of highlights and positive stories, 
when
> > what I really wanted and needed to do was to share was was REAL for me.
> > Honoring me and my wisdom in the MOMENT. Experiences such as this one 
have
> > caused me to use caution with Appreciative Inquiry and to go back to 
the
> > root understandings of second order change work and to create contexts 
for
> > the space to be OPEN.
> >
>
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Dear Peggy,

I am sure that it is impossible to think clearly when you are feeling 
confused angry, sad, frightened or embarrassed. Even very strong positive 
emotions like the euphoria of being "in love" get in the way of clear 
thinking. So it is useful to talk to someone else about how you feel and 
maybe get angry, cry, shake or laugh to get rid of the feelings then you 
can think clearly. Just explaining to someone else what you are trying to 
do when stuck will often give you an instant solution, even if they do 
"nothing but listen".

The fact that people are doing Ai does not stop them having feelings. I 
would have thought that providing people with a limited time to talk and 
listen to each other and express them at the beginning and throughout the 
process would only speed it up and deepen it.

If you look up the article "Counselling Skills" on my web site it will give 
more information on how listening to people and relaesing feelings works 
and how to do it. The section on "How counselling works" is my 
understanding of the core theory of "Reevaluation Counselling" (RC), there 
is more on http://www.rc.org/ . I have worked with this theory and practice 
for twenty five years. I think that it could make Ai even more effective 
and intend to find out in my own practice.

Best wishes,

Nick Heap

01707 886553 and mailto:nickheap@tesco.net
Web site http://homepages.tesco.net/~nickheap.